It seems that recently, I've had a roller coaster of events. From school, to meeting new people and getting a job. I say roller coaster because, sometimes, I get extremely nervous only to realize these worries to bare fruit. I enjoy meeting new people and learning about them. I even pray for them because I feel it would be wrong of me to not wish for them to have blessings. I consider myself someone really curious about things and because of that I find myself getting attached towards new people because I'm just so curious and interested in them that I forget to tell myself "Slow down!". It's quite hilarious when you think about it. To use an analogy, it's like those dogs, who when they meet someone they jump in excitement and want to remain close. Already, they'd consider this person a friend. Though, I wonder if this is simply my naivety. If so, then I can't help it. It's just how I am. I'm really religious, well, not that religious but I do consider myself someone who values my faith. However, not to where I'd consider those who do not believe in God, below me. Since I understand that even if they don't. It's not my job to preach to them. Only God can do that. I don't even consider myself really smart when it comes to encouraging others to follow God. I myself acknowledge that, I am really flawed. And because of that, I'm in no position to teach others or tell others about God because I myself don't know enough about Lord God. Everyday, I do learn something, but I believe, it's not enough. And because of that, i am simply going about my day. However, I am not going to a Church because I haven't found any that I believe, I'd feel close with God. Make friends through fellowship and I think that is what is killing me sometimes. I feel a "disconnect" to God. Sometimes I don't pray and it effects me mentally. It's hard to explain but I feel worry whenever I don't because then, I feel that if something bad had happen to the friends or the new friends I've met outside of America, I'd feel guilty. Guilty for what? well, guilty that I did not pray for there blessings and prosperity. I feel as if my sinful actions effects others without me realizing it. And that scares me the most. I feel encouraged to try and walk the path of good, like David and hopefully, God can hear me more and see how much I value the people I've met outside of the U.S and think "Oh hey, he really values them." I mean, when I think about it. I never would've known about Kenya had it not been for that one person I've met. I think she's a wonderful , beautiful person, with an incredible smile. I enjoy military history but I do enjoy history nonetheless and I've learned about how many groups exist in Kenya. I think, its quite really interesting, just how much of an effect just one person can have one another and how much , simply them speaking to you can encourage you to learn about them and who they're as a person and the place they're from. I hope to save enough for a camera so that I can take pictures to send and simply save because I want to remember everything.
I don't know. I don't know what the heck I'm thinking anymore right now. Maybe I'm just really tired and thinking out loud.
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